Ingenious (2009, Jeff Balsmeyer)
Ingenious is a struggling artist picture, only the struggling artist in question (Dallas Roberts) is a tchotchke designer, not a painter. The film mostly centers on Roberts, but also his sidekick...
View ArticleThe Girl Who Played with Fire (2009, Daniel Alfredson), the extended edition
Calling The Girl Who Played with Fire pointless is an insult to all the other pointless sequels out there. Fire–and I’m sure it’s a faithful adaptation of the source novel, which is undoubtedly...
View ArticleThe Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (2009, Daniel Alfredson), the extended...
The first half of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest falls victim to the Halloween II phenomenon. The main character–in this case Noomi Rapace–is in the hospital and out of commission. Hornet’s Nest...
View ArticleOrphan (2009, Jaume Collet-Serra)
Orphan‘s a peculiar failure. The script isn’t particularly good; it’s layered with foreshadowing upon foreshadowing and some very predictable turns. But it has these occasionally strong dialogue scenes...
View ArticleRepo Chick (2009, Alex Cox)
If Repo Chick were a half hour short, it would work a lot better. Sadly, it’s an almost ninety minute feature–even as a seventy minute feature, it’d be a lot better. The problem’s the front end. Cox...
View ArticleThe Search (2009, Mark Buchanan)
The Search has an odd problem–director Buchanan isn’t happy with being sublimely profound. Instead, he goes for obvious and slightly forced profound. It’s unfortunate, since the short is otherwise...
View ArticleS. Darko (2009, Chris Fisher)
Terrifying as it might be to say, but S. Darko could actually be worse. It’s an official sequel to Donnie Darko as the producers of that film still had sequel rights, but Daveigh Chase–as this...
View ArticleDo You Love Me Like I Love You, Part 1: From Her to Eternity (2009, Iain...
From Her to Eternity, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' first album, runs about forty-four minutes. This short film–part of a comprehensive series (Do You Love Me Like I Love You), runs about forty minutes....
View ArticleLos Bandoleros (2009, Vin Diesel)
The strange part of Los Bandoleros isn’t how it ends lame–it’s how well it starts. Sure, there’s this dumb story about how Vin Diesel, on the lamb in the Dominican Republic, has become a Robin Hood to...
View ArticleFast & Furious (2009, Justin Lin)
With Fast & Furious, director Lin and screenwriter Chris Morgan do something incredible. They take what, a decade before would have been at best a video game spin-off (maybe featuring the original,...
View ArticleHalloween II (2009, Rob Zombie), the director’s cut
Halloween II is terrible. Unquestionably terrible. It sounds as though the director’s cut, which I watched, is even worse than the theatrical cut, based on the items director Zombie added back to the...
View ArticleThe Girl Who Played with Fire (2009, Daniel Alfredson), the extended edition
Calling The Girl Who Played with Fire pointless is an insult to all the other pointless sequels out there. Fire–and I’m sure it’s a faithful adaptation of the source novel, which is undoubtedly...
View ArticleThe Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (2009, Daniel Alfredson), the extended...
The first half of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest falls victim to the Halloween II phenomenon. The main character–in this case Noomi Rapace–is in the hospital and out of commission. Hornet’s Nest...
View ArticleOrphan (2009, Jaume Collet-Serra)
Orphan‘s a peculiar failure. The script isn’t particularly good; it’s layered with foreshadowing upon foreshadowing and some very predictable turns. But it has these occasionally strong dialogue scenes...
View ArticleRepo Chick (2009, Alex Cox)
If Repo Chick were a half hour short, it would work a lot better. Sadly, it’s an almost ninety minute feature–even as a seventy minute feature, it’d be a lot better. The problem’s the front end. Cox...
View ArticleThe Search (2009, Mark Buchanan)
The Search has an odd problem–director Buchanan isn’t happy with being sublimely profound. Instead, he goes for obvious and slightly forced profound. It’s unfortunate, since the short is otherwise...
View ArticleS. Darko (2009, Chris Fisher)
Terrifying as it might be to say, but S. Darko could actually be worse. It’s an official sequel to Donnie Darko as the producers of that film still had sequel rights, but Daveigh Chase–as this...
View ArticleLos Bandoleros (2009, Vin Diesel)
The strange part of Los Bandoleros isn’t how it ends lame–it’s how well it starts. Sure, there’s this dumb story about how Vin Diesel, on the lamb in the Dominican Republic, has become a Robin Hood to...
View ArticleHalloween II (2009, Rob Zombie), the director’s cut
Halloween II is terrible. Unquestionably terrible. It sounds as though the director’s cut, which I watched, is even worse than the theatrical cut, based on the items director Zombie added back to the...
View ArticleThe Invention of Lying (2009, Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson)
The Invention of Lying is a 100 minute exploration of a gag. In a world without lying–or any fictive creativity whatsoever–co-director, co-writer, and star Ricky Gervais one day spontaneously mutates...
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